If only…

If I could eat anything right now, it would be a breakfast sandwich.

Or a donut.

Or a fish taco.

OR A BREAKFAST TACO. Omg that would take care of the breakfast sandwich and the taco craving at the same time.

Really just anything with scrambled egg and cheese. And mayo.

Or a donut.

Maternity Coat

Have I posted about the endless search for a maternity coat yet? If not, let me get you up to speed:

When you look at “outerwear” for pregnant ladies, you’ll usually find a vest and a polar fleece zip up. If you do happen to find a coat, it will almost never have a hood. And it will most definitely not be waterproof. (And it will probably be a “puffer coat” because pregnant ladies don’t feel puffy enough as it is)

Apparently the general consensus is that pregnant people only sometimes need to be warm. And they definitely don’t need to be dry. Because we’re not like the rest of the humans.

Well someone finally got the memo about pregnant ladies needing to be warm AND dry simultaneously (and not “puffy”). Yes, that’s right! I found a waterproof maternity coat with a hood! I found the unicorn! Just click and see!

But after you marvel at the unicorn, please join me in crying about the unicorn. Unicorns, it turns out, are quite expensive.

I am going to kiss the unicorn goodbye, because I wouldn’t even spend that much on a coat that I could use for years, much less one that I would only wear until April!!

However, I live in the Pacific Northwest where it rains quite a bit during the winter. Additionally, it is currently 34 degrees in Portland, with wind gusts reaching up to 50 mph (i.e. windchill down to 0 degrees Fahrenheit). I am also growing out of the (non-waterproof) coats I have borrowed from my generous loved ones. So I probably need a coat. And  probably soon.

I think I’ll go back to ogling the $50 non-waterproof (but hooded!) semi-warm looking coat at H&M. It is conveniently named “mama”, which reminds me that I’m going to be a mom and makes me feel warm and gooey inside. So even if the coat itself doesn’t keep me warm AND dry, at least it gives me happy warm feelings.

BABY TANTRUM

I think Baby Boy threw his first tantrum today.

He was whacking me on my bladder, belly AND side all at the same time. It was like he wanted to hit me absolutely everywhere he could reach.

So that was new.

Rewind??

Am I back in my first trimester? Because I am exhausted.

Like the kind of exhausted where I’m not even sure how I’m still alive.

I had a hard time falling asleep last night, but once I did I slept fine. And I got about 7.5 hours of sleep in the end. So this exhaustion feels like a bit of an overreaction.

I have more to say about this. But I’m too tired.

Finally got a pillow for the Portland bridges pillowcase I was gifted by fabric designer Violet Craft and my sister in law at the quilt show a few months back. It looks so majestic on the new couch!

Baby’s “first” christmas

Baby Boy has had a big few days. His “first” Christmas was a hit. I was surprised at how spoiled he was for not even having exited the womb yet! But his mom and dad (out in the real world, living and breathing) got pretty spoiled, too.

In addition to the couch and toaster oven we bought ourselves, Dad got a tuner and new mud flaps for his car and some gift cards, and Mom got new shoes, a cookbook, some yummy snacks, and some gift cards. She also got a big lantern that is going to serve as the nightlight in Baby Boy’s nursery.

But back to Baby Boy… his Christmas was just epic! He got his crib and mattress, a hand-knit blanket, a stuffed cow, a tiny baby-sized sock monkey, a blue dalahäst, and a red long-sleeved onesie. And we also got word that his rocker is on the way for his nursery.

Today I went and grabbed some paint for his nursery, too. I picked up some paint for the kitchen while I was at it, but I’m most excited for the nursery color.

Baby Boy has been really excited about all his new stuff, too. He is really in the holiday spirit, celebrating by kicking and dancing non-stop. No more “he’s active at this time of day… blah blah blah”. He is a constant partier! I even caught him on video moving my belly around yesterday. Funny little guy. 🙂

Anyway… after this Christmas, this mama is feeling super festive and very grateful. Our families are really behind us and making us feel so supported. Holidays (and life in general) aren’t really about material things, but we’re starting to feel a little more prepared with some of the “stuff” checked off our list. So in this case, the “stuff” feels pretty important. Because “stuff” = prepared = calm mama. And in the case of getting baby “stuff”, it feels like we’re receiving a bunch of big hugs from our loved ones.

I wish I could bottle this feeling.

Here I am at one day shy of 25 weeks. Baby Boy got lots of presents this morning including a crib (!!!!) from Nonny and Pop Pop and a hand-knit blanket from Great Granny. He is SO spoiled and loved and he isn’t even here yet! Wow!

Two fun(ny) developments:

1. When I weighed myself yesterday, I couldn’t see what the scale said cuz my belly was in the way.
2. My tailbone hurts all the time now. Which makes sitting quite uncomfortable. This is funny because standing is also uncomfortable due to my feet starting to hurt really fast. It seems I have entered the phase where “uncomfortable” describes most things.

Nightstands project

Kyle and I undertook the first of many nursery-related projects yesterday.

Without the basement stuff figured out yet, we still can’t move things out of the soon-to-be nursery. So we tackled one of the few things we can get done: painting the nightstands.

The nightstands we have are from my girlhood bedroom. I believe they also used to live in my mom’s girlhood bedroom. And my granny’s. Although I’m a little unclear on how far back the family history stretches.

No matter what, they’re cool, good quality, and made of wood. And they were mine once. So it is fun to imagine passing them on.

But they were in rough shape. The finish on the wood was just destroyed by many years of bedside water glasses sweating and leaving rings. So we needed to sand them down and either refinish them or paint them.

The water rings seemed to have caused enough damage that we anticipated staining wouldn’t really work. So we selected a nice navy blue paint at Home Depot and got ready to get to work. (Note: we were right about the water rings. after sanding, they were still visible!)

Kyle, a friend of mine, and I got busy with an electric sander and hand sanders (and face masks!!!) and got everything off. Then I evacuated (because spray paint fumes and pregnancy are not friends), and the nightstands got their first coat of paint. They’ve been drying, and are awaiting a second coat plus a coat of gloss.

Stay tuned for before and after pictures when the “after” has been completed!

This pregnant lady is very excited to have a nursery project underway! My “scheduling” of things is proving to be effective in getting our butts into gear!

The New Car

I have now had the new car for a couple days. And I love it!

The car buying experience was interesting, and something I had never really been a part of up until this past weekend. Although I can’t say I’ve really been involved in the process now either, since Kyle handled pretty much everything. My role was: “Yes, I like it. No, we can’t afford that price.”

My other role in the process was going to the bathroom 6 times in the 3 hours we were there. So it is a good thing they didn’t need me for anything important, because I was absent quite a bit. Have I mentioned that being pregnant is hilarious? Also, I think Baby Boy is going to be a soccer player, and my bladder is his first toy. 🙂

Anyway… At one point Kyle and I played with the idea of going to look at other Ford Focuses at the Ford dealership down the road. We knew for a fact that they had a 2012 with a few less miles (and quite a few less features/upgrades), but in the end, we decided against it because Kyle didn’t want one with less features/upgrades. And I didn’t want Kyle complaining for the next decade that “we should have gotten the fancier one”. He agreed that he would, in fact, mention it every single time he drove/sat in the car – he wouldn’t be able to help it. So it was worth a few extra bucks a month to take an annoying recurring fight off the table, I think! We bought peace in our marriage. Money well spent!

With the decision made, and the car at home with us, I am starting to figure out some of the fancy new features. My current favorite is the bluetooth connection to my phone. I frequently find myself muttering to myself, “how did I ever live without this?”.

Kyle is also pleased with the purchase. As we headed to Home Depot and the grocery store yesterday, he begged to be allowed to take the wheel. He also mentioned that he “likes the looks of me” in the car.

All around, I’d say we’re a happy pair!

I don’t know who the person who said this is, and I haven’t double checked to see of this person actually said this… but that is rather irrelevant.

I saw this today and it resonated with me. Although I think this “pause” should happen at least once daily.

We should never lose sight of our goals and keep striving. But every day, if just for a moment, let us appreciate where we are, what we have, who we’re with, and the progress we’ve made.

This weekend, which is so filled with joy for our little family, feels like a big “pause”.

This weekend has been unbelievable. And it is only Saturday.

First, Kyle’s job stuff got resolved in a very positive way.

Then the couch got delivered.

Then I bought a new car.

Then I baked Christmas cookies and treats with my mom and brother all day and had the most wonderful time.

Then my mom, brother and step-dad all felt the baby kick for the first time.

I don’t even need a Sunday this week. I’m all full up with good stuff.

This mama got a new car today! 2012 Ford Focus Titanium. It has more bells and whistles than I know what to do with. Better start with figuring out how to turn on the headlights…

Meet my brother, John! Oh… and my new couch! All involved parties are very excited about the new arrangement. Lots of comfortable butts in our house!

Here I am at 24 weeks. My uterus is the size of a soccer ball, the baby is as long as an ear of corn, and he weighs over a pound now. Thank you, internet. You’ve been very educational today!

Yahoo!

It is COUCH DAY!

Plus I get to go to the doctor and hear the baby’s heartbeat!

Plus I’ve reached 24 weeks, which means that my baby would have a chance of survival if it were born today. Still a totally terrifying thing to think about at 24 weeks… but today marks the day when survival looks better and better for each day I stay pregnant! (Stay in as long as you’d like, Baby Boy! I’ll make it as comfortable for you as possible!)

Plus it is Friday! And this weekend is looking fabulously wonderful!

Optimism!

Slow down, girl

So I feel like I’m losing control. Of another thing. I mean… there are a lot of things out of my control right now. Being pregnant has a way of making that happen. But I have another thing to add to the list:

Eating.

I just can’t stop.

Even as I write that, I feel silly. Because of course I can stop. If any of the things I’ve lost control of can be brought back under control, its eating.

Gaining weight while pregnant is a must. But by any measure, I’m ahead of the game on the weight gain timeline. And it scares me how easily that has happened. Because I know better.

But instead of being sad and mopey, I’d like to try to take action instead. Because, as we all know by now, plans make me happy!

The plan:

  • Fewer cookies/sweets, for obvious reasons.
  • More protein, to stay fuller longer (was already trying to eat more protein, but mom suggested maybe I still wasn’t getting enough. Worth a try! Thanks, Mom!)
  • Stop having “just a little more” because it tastes good. Ask myself if I am really hungry enough to justify it.
  • Drink more water. I haven’t been going overboard on other beverages, so I don’t need to replace anything with water. I just need to drink more water. Everything I’ve read says that this will help me with cravings, feelings of fullness, and keeping my weight gain at the healthy levels. Hydration is good!

Short list. Easy plans. No need to go crazy here. Just minor adjustments to get my weight gain to a steady, healthy pace so I don’t end up 80 lbs overweight after the baby comes.

I feel better already. Plans are my crack. Maybe next time I feel like eating because it tastes good instead of because I’m hungry, I’ll pause and make more plans instead. Making plans is better than food.

Crying Babies

I have a naive musing about babies that I’m going to share.

I’d like to emphasize that it is naive.

Because I don’t actually have a baby of my own living and breathing outside of my womb.

But here we go!

Crying babies. I’ve been seeing all these things online about “no cry” this and “tear-free” that. Like today on Pinterest, for example, I saw a link to an article about how to give a “no-cry bath” to your baby.

Why does it matter if your baby cries through a bath? If baby poops all over itself, it may need a bath, whether it wants one or not. So let it cry (and the parents can cry too, cuz ewwww. Poop.), clean it up, and then it’s all over.

Babies literally have no way of communicating other than screaming at you. So if they cry, make sure that they’re not in pain from scalding water or dying from hypothermia or whatever, but then… can’t you just continue on with the bath under the assumption that all they’re trying to say is, “hey mom, I hate baths!”?

Honestly, if you spend the whole bath trying to make your baby stop crying about hating baths, you probably spend longer with the baby in the tub than you would have if you’d just gotten on with your business and bathed the baby.

I just feel like emphasis should be taken off of the avoidance of tears. The tears themselves are not the problem… right?

Please don’t send Child Protective Services after me.

Feeeeeeelings

Kyle and I have been living a life full of big moments for the past few years. It all started with getting engaged, then getting married, then buying a house, then getting pregnant. And in the middle of all of that there have been promotions and career decisions. And soon there will be an actual little human baby in our lives.

That’s a long list of huge stuff. We’ve been bombarded for just about 2 years now. Granted, it has been overwhelmingly positive life-changes (thank goodness!)… but even positive life-changes can really shake you up emotionally!

Oooh feelings.

We’ve been building up to some career changes in Kyle’s world for a while now, and resolution should be coming tomorrow in one form or another. And I think it is a good thing we don’t have to wait much longer, because we’re both exhausted and emotionally burnt out.

It is wild to think about everything we’ve done and everything we’ve gone through. What a whirlwind. I’m just so grateful we’re still strong, and happy, and together, and on the same page, and looking forward towards the same things. This non-stop pace has really made me feel connected to my husband. But we could use a breather for a second. “Just” having pregnancy on our plate would be a nice change of pace.

Curses!

I made a classic mistake yesterday – I told Kyle that I felt so lucky that my pregnancy wasn’t riddled with the discomforts so many women experience. Like nausea. Or constipation. Or excessive headaches.

CLASSIC MISTAKE.

Today I have an extremely painful headache. Literally the day after I said I was lucky not to have headaches.

And lucky me, pregnant like I am… All I can take is Tylenol. I’ll let you guess how much that is helping.

I’m sure the headache will be gone tomorrow. Or it probably would have been if I hadn’t just said that it would be. I’ll never learn!

Stop it, optimism!

I moved on from the car shopping. You know… to try to restore my sanity and come back down to earth.

Well, my hormones don’t allow me to do anything sane anymore. So I ended up on the Babies R Us website. And did you know that they’re having a 15% off nursery furniture sale? Well.. now I do.

And now that damned optimism is basically screaming at me: “The time has come! You should buy that glider for the nursery! It’s on SALE!

I think I should turn off the computer and take my optimism to the fridge to grab a yogurt. Channel that energy into some protein and calcium instead of pre-spending money that may or may not be coming into our lives.

Maybe I’ll even throw in some granola. Yummmm.

Upswing!

I’ve been feeling optimistic lately (i.e. the last two days). I’m not sure this over-optimism is completely justified. But it is much better than feeling stressed!

But optimism has a dark side, people. And it is called “Craigslist car shopping”. And I found a great car at the Ford dealership down the street from our house – A 2012 Ford Focus in white, with leather seats, reasonably low miles, and to top it off, it is reasonably well priced.

I think we’re going to get some resolution about our finances in the next week or so. I really hope that car is still available when we have gotten a clearer picture of our budget. Until then, I must resist spending money based on optimism alone! 

Being a grown up is hard. And not very much fun. I’d rather fly by the seat of my optimism and be irresponsible. That’s way cooler.

Here I am at 23 weeks. It’s been a stressful week after falling in the driveway, but Baby Boy has been kicking up a storm reminding me that he is ok.

After all the stress yesterday, I slept like a rock all night long and still don’t feel rested. I think it is going to take another good night of sleep to recover from the emotional trauma. Phew!

BUT! Good news – I realized this morning that it has been several weeks since the last time I gagged while brushing my teeth. I guess it is pretty safe to say that that phase has passed. And I definitely do not miss it.

Seriously, though. I’m so tired I think my eyes are eventually just going to stop opening again after I blink.

Hi baby!

Baby Boy is kicking me right this moment. Something in my brain still doesn’t want to believe it because I’m apparently dead set on punishing myself forever.

But let’s be real… I’ve paid the price for my dumb decision. I stressed all day long. It is time to accept that baby is doing his nightly dance routine in my belly, and I need to give myself some slack.

Little dancing baby. Such a show off. 🙂

Still stressed out about falling. Mommy-guilt has been turned up to full power. Still convincing myself that what are almost definitely baby kicks are not, in fact, baby kicks. Ate a doughnut to try to give Baby Boy a sugar rush and make him kick like crazy. Still convincing myself that nothing is moving.

Why was I so dumb? Falling…seriously. What was I thinking?

I fell

So… I made a dumb decision this morning. But let’s rewind to Sunday, when my SIL, BIL and niece came over for dinner. I made fish tacos accompanied by a TON of “fiesta” quinoa, and we had leftovers coming out our ears.

We’ve been slowly eating them for the past few days, and there were two portions left after we ate dinner last night. I decided I’d turn the leftovers into a delicious salad – one for Kyle, and one for me. I was very excited about the lunches.

The catch: I put the sour cream and salsa in a separate container so the greens wouldn’t get soggy. But those condiments were essential – without them, the salad would be dry and bland. And I just knew that Kyle was going to forget that separate container when he left for work today.

I was right. Obviously.

As I was finishing up my shower, I heard him start up his car to warm it up. He usually comes back in for his bagel and coffee while the car is warming up, but I knew my time to catch him and remind him of the small container was limited. So I jumped out of the shower, dried myself off, wrapped myself in my towel and ran out to the kitchen. He wasn’t there. But I heard the car.

I grabbed the small container out of the fridge, slipped on my shoes, and ran outside… still wrapped in my towel. He was pulling away, and didn’t see me. I was too late. So, naturally, I tried to chase after him.

And then I fell.

I tripped and fell, naked, onto our gravel driveway. My towel went flying. I scraped my knee, elbow, and hand. And Kyle still didn’t have the most delicious part of his lunch.

So I cursed, tried to cover myself up with the towel, thanked my lucky stars that it was pitch black outside so no neighbors could see me (if they had happened to be looking out their windows at 7 AM), and ran back inside to survey the damage.

I was covered in gravel. My newly washed towel was very dirty. Blood was dripping down my knee and elbow from wounds I couldn’t see through the gravel that was embedded, and the palm of my hand stung.

But was I concerned about that? NO! I still wanted to make sure Kyle had a good lunch. So I did what I should have done in the first place – I called him (duh). And then I hopped back in the shower to wash all of the gravel out of my flesh. Kyle ultimately came back and got the container of sour cream and salsa. And when he saw me bleeding from three separate wounds, he looked horrified.

Only then did it occur to me that I’m pregnant and probably should have been worried that I fell. Up until that point, I thought it was rather hilarious that I had run outside naked to try to “save my husband’s lunch experience”, only to fall and cut myself. I had even texted my mom and a couple friends to share the hilarity… because if you can’t laugh at yourself, what is the point of living?

Anyway.. my mom was very concerned about the baby. Which made me very concerned about the baby. And here we are, halfway through the day, and I’m still waiting for an unmistakable baby kick to confirm that Baby Boy is still, well… kicking. But I’m psyching myself out and convincing myself that everything I feel is actually just a gas bubble. Even though I know by now what a baby kick feels like.

Moral of the story: Pregnant or not, you should not try to chase down a  person in a car on foot. Cars are fast. If you need to talk to the person in the car, call them.