I’ve been thinking that I may have found my groove for about a week now. And since the feeling hasn’t gone away, I think it is safe to say publicly at this point. Lewis is 7 weeks old today, and I think I’ve got my groove as a mom.
We’ve settled into a comfortable rhythm with breastfeeding where, for the most part, my supply is just right and I understand all of Lewis’ cues and patterns about when he wants to eat. And I still have no damage reappearing, so we’re probably out of the woods with that now too!
I have even started to understand what the different noises Lewis makes mean. I know when he is gassy, when he is hungry, when he is bored, etc. just based upon his noises and movements. That alone makes me feel like super-mom!
Going out in public for standard errands or social visits isn’t scary in the slightest anymore. This is partially due to the fact that I’ve got practice now. Bust mostly it is because I feel confident in my ability to keep a calm head and problem solve if something should suddenly veer off track.
That is the biggest thing that makes me feel like I’m comfortable in my new role: I am prepared for the unexpected to happen without losing my cool.
That’s huge. In the beginning, I was a ball of anxiety, imagining all the things that could “go wrong”. Now? My anxiety doesn’t paralyze me. I’ve lived through some of the situations that I imagined would result in disaster, and survived all of them. Once you survive something that caused you anxiety, you realize how silly you were to worry, and then that trigger never causes problems again.
And once that happens a few times, the feeling transfers to other anxiety-triggers – if that situation didn’t turn out as bad as I thought it would, then surely these other things I’m worried about won’t be as bad either!
Et voila… I’m in a groove.
Bring it on, motherhood. You don’t scare me anymore. I don’t know what other curveballs you’ve got up your sleeve, but I do know that I can handle it. I may not be graceful at all times, and I may have moments where I feel overwhelmed… but I’ve got this.