We did it!

Two accomplishments last night:

1. Lewis had his first night away from home (without me!) at my mom’s house. I knew he’d do great, but I wasn’t so sure about myself. Turns out we both did great! I gave my mom an overview of what to expect, and Lewis stuck to his normal routine for the most part. And I had fun at the wedding Kyle and I attended without freaking out. Go team!

2. Lewis slept through the night for the first time. 9.5 hours of sleep in a row. He apparently stirred around 3:30 am, but went back to sleep. He always seems to have major milestones for anyone but me. But I’m glad he was on his best behavior for my mom and stepdad! Woohoo!

It is 90 degrees in my bedroom. I can’t turn on the portable air conditioner because I can’t hear the baby monitor if I do.

This is going to be a very long summer.

And my next house will have central AC. No getting around that. It’s a requirement.

Good news is that Lewis’ AC is on and his room is 72 degrees. If he’s ok, I’m ok.

Corporate baby round 2

Today’s office visit with Lewis was less awesome. We had two blowouts and I had to leave my meeting abruptly to feed him. But that wouldn’t have happened if the meeting attendees hadn’t been 30 minutes late… just sayin.

But honestly, the hardest part about the work day was the server connection issues. I got way less done than I needed to because of that, not because of Lewis.

One more day of Lewis in the office. Then back to working from home like normal, which is waaaay easier.

This working mama is exhausted.

Corporate baby

Lewis was a very well behaved employee today at the office. We made it 6 hours, including 1.5 hrs where I was in a meeting and Lewis was watched by some colleagues. He kept it together the whole time.

I was so proud of him! And it was a good thing it went as well as it did, because we have to do it again tomorrow and Monday too. I’m familiar enough with the project now, but of course there are project-related meetings tomorrow and Monday that I absolutely can’t miss.

The nice thing is that I budgeted our personal finances for me to only be working 4 hrs per day. So all this extra time is extra money in our pockets that we hadn’t planned for. Never a bad thing!

And of course it is really pretty cool for the company that we got this project. It is very very large, and will change the face of our company forever – provided I don’t botch it. But I have no plans to botch it, as it will literally be the only thing on my to do list until the end of October. My team has been instructed to behave as if I am still on maternity leave so I can give 100% to this project. Now, we’ll see if it actually works out that way. I have a feeling I’ll end up doing a lot if my normal tasks too. Haha. Good thing I’m super organized!

Random updates

1. Kyle is better at getting Lewis to stay asleep than me. I have no idea what his trick is. But he is the champion.

2. I lost another 2.5 lbs since I last weighed myself. I now only have 15 lbs to go and have met my 3 month post partum goal early. I feel awesome.

3. Lewis is supposed to stay the night at my mom’s house on Saturday while Kyle and I attend a wedding. I can hardly sleep at night in anticipation. Total anxiety overload.

4. Lewis is coming with me to the office tomorrow. We landed a gigantic project that I’m supposed to manage and I need to get familiar with it. Naturally, no one is free to babysit on a weekday with only a day’s notice, so Lewis gets to come hang out at work. I have a feeling none of my coworkers will be productive, as they’ll all be taking turns babysitting so I can get up to speed. 🙂

5. It is going to be extremely hot this coming weekend and the additional air conditioner we purchased has been declared lost in the mail. I am praying the replacement will be here by Saturday. Odds are not in our favor.

Kyle did bedtime tonight so I could go to bed early. I’ve been in bed for over an hour and a half and I can’t sleep because the neighbors are playing basketball.

It is now completely dark. I’d like to go ask them to stop so I can sleep. But I am terrified of them because they live in the house where the shooting happened and the cops always show up. They’re dangerous.

We have the AC on in Lewis’ room again so he isn’t kept awake by the noise. But I have no such luxury in my bedroom.

I’d very much like to move away from here. To a place where I’m not scared of my neighbors, ideally.

Tonight we’ve had three bedtimes so far, totaling almost an hour and a half of bedtiming. (Herumph) Lewis is currently in his crib asleep… but who knows if it’ll stick.

Bedtime is always the toughest part of our day. But lately Lewis has been pretty grumpy in general. It usually hits in the evening, but it can really happen whenever.

That is so unlike him that I’ve been looking for explanations. I haven’t found any signs of teeth yet. No fevers. No constipation. Been keeping him as cool as possible in this warm weather. Feed him on demand… I’ve got no clue.

My mom said they sometimes get fussier before major milestones. Maybe he’ll laugh soon?

Or maybe we’ve just entered a new phase and this version of Lewis is the new normal. If that’s the case, I just need to figure out how I work with the new normal and then everything will be groovy. 🙂

I just had my last appointment with my OB. Back to only annual exams until the next baby.

I’m sad. I love my doctor.

I saw her more often in the last year than I saw some of my close friends. And now I’m not going to see her again until October. Am I the only crazy person who mourns their OB visits after baby’s arrival?

Probably.

FINALLY the neighbor kids have stopped playing basketball for the day. Now I can go in and turn off the ac (aka noise maker) in Lewis’ room and open his window.

And then I can go to sleep too. Because the noise has stopped. 🙂

Pre-Pregnancy Clothes

Yesterday I put all my maternity clothes away and got back out my pre-pregnancy clothes.

That’s not to say that my pre-pregnancy clothes fit! Especially not the pants. But some of the shirts do, and I feel like it won’t be long until they all do. So I wanted to bring them out as motivation.

I also decided that two boxes worth of pre-pregnancy clothes weren’t worth keeping anymore. It is funny what almost a year of not seeing your clothes will do to your feelings towards them. I realized I hadn’t missed most of them. And that they were very worn out.

After many months of surviving on a very small wardrobe, I also decided I didn’t need nearly as many clothes as I had before. They’re going to Goodwill, and hopefully someone else will like them.

I’m left with a still very abundant wardrobe, with the exception of pants. I got rid of all of the pants, save one pair. It feels important not to stress over trying to fit into old pants, and to start fresh. But it will be fun to have that one pair to measure progress by!

Hairy fingers and toes

As little Lewis grows and changes (every day!!!) I feel like I get little glimpses into who he is going to be.

Today I noticed hair on his fingers and toes. I didn’t know that was possible. I thought maybe hair started growing like that at puberty. But perhaps it is there from the beginning, and only thickens/changes colors later?

Anyway… he has very fine, blonde hairs on his fingers and toes. He is going to be a hairy man. I can envision him looking like my brothers, and that makes me laugh and feel proud.

I love my little Lewis!

This weekend I took a trip to heaven. I didn’t have to go far. It turns out heaven is right here in my house. And its resident angel is named Lewis! I could stay here just like this forever. 🙂

Excuse me while I have a complete sobbing meltdown from how happy I am just to be in this beautiful moment where my son naps on my chest peacefully while I listen to music and stare out the window at the sunshine.

Complete. Happiness. Meltdown.

Lewis did what?

Kyle is gone today for his annual company meeting, not arriving home until 10:30 or 11 this evening.

I don’t really like being alone all day and evening with the baby. It gets very boring and lonely. So I arranged some adult company and headed over to Kyle’s sister’s house with Lewis.

Great plan… except somewhere throughout the course of our day, Lewis didn’t get in enough naps. Cue total meltdown. AKA I bounce and soothe baby, and enjoy absolutely no social interaction with grown ups.

He did take a half hour nap while we were over there, but it wasn’t enough apparently. And suddenly it became clear to me that bedtime had arrived earlier than anticipated.

Meltdowns are not usually Lewis’ style. I was caught off guard for sure. I ended up feeling like we had to leave so I could put him to bed. Plus there was no point in staying since I had to remove myself from the group to try to calm Lewis down anyway. Just as much adult interaction as at home, and Lewis could go to bed.

The good news is that after we got home, Lewis went down easy and was fast asleep before 8:30. I didn’t get as much social interaction as I wanted, but I think we’ll call tonight a win anyway. Easy bedtimes are my favorite!

Shh, brain. You don’t know what you’re talking about

Dr. Google says I can diet and exercise as long as my total calories for the day don’t drop below 1500-1800. If I stay above that my milk supply should be fine.

Considering that I should be consuming 2300-2500 just to maintain where I am, I would still lose weight at that calorie level. So no fear! Research is awesome. My brain can just stop it now.

It took me 9 months to gain all the weight. So conservatively, I should give myself 9 months to lose it. That equals 2.5 lbs per month. Which is easily accomplished within the limits of a milk-supply safe calorie intake.

Back on track!

(Ir)rational fear

I’ve been going to the gym (somewhat) regularly. It feels really good to go and to move. But I haven’t been losing any weight.

I’m not confused about why I’m “stuck” here – I am not losing weight because I haven’t been letting myself lose weight. Why? because I am so scared to lose my milk supply that I haven’t been letting myself have a daily calorie deficit.

The good news is that I’m not gaining weight either. I’m just maintaining where I am. Don’t get me wrong, I really want to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. But I have heard horror stories about not taking in enough calories/working out too hard and losing a previously strong milk supply. I’ve already been through oversupply… I don’t want to go through the other extreme.

I could easily lose this weight – and fast. It would melt off of me if I let it. I know how to do portion control and work out, and this weight really wants to come off of me. My body doesn’t like being this weight, and it would shed the pounds with only minor adjustments to my eating.

But I eat huge portions to keep my calorie intake up to “breastfeeding levels” because I just can’t let go of this fear! And the worst part is, I don’t know if it is a rational fear or not. Maybe I would be fine if I let myself lose weight, but maybe I wouldn’t – I can’t know that unless I take the plunge. But I’m just not ready to risk it, I guess.

Kitty on the mend?

Monty drank a ton over night. And I just caught her in the act of drinking again. Additionally, she has been eating her special wet cat food with gusto. Even asking for more when she licks the bowl clean.

And no more vomiting!

So today is a good day. A sleepy baby and a kitty on the mend!

LEWIS SLEPT 7 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES IN A ROW.

We are sooooo close to sleeping through the night. Wow.

When I woke up at 4:30 to him stirring, I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Go Lewis!

UPDATE: He followed up the nearly 8 hr stretch with a nearly 4 hour stretch. My boobs were complaining, but I’m certainly not! I love my sleepy baby!

10 Lessons I’ve learned in 10 weeks of parenting

  1. Bring a change of clothes for the whole family – Baby messes are not always easily contained. Baby, mom, and dad sometimes all need a costume change. Not the end of the world if you’re prepared, pretty disastrous if you’re not.
  2. Plan to leave 15 minutes before you actually need to leave – If you ever want to be on time again, do this. Worst case scenario, you end up 15 minutes early to your destination. Best case scenario, you’re prepared for the worst case scenarios – like blowouts, vomit covered babies, can’t find the pacifier, where are my keys, baby is starving unexpectedly, etc.
  3. Nothing is as scary as it seems – I’ve been nearly paralyzed by countless tasks since baby arrived. How am I supposed to grocery shop with a baby? How am I supposed to go to the doctor with a baby? How am I supposed to breastfeed in public? Where will I pump while I’m out without the baby? How am I supposed to open the door while pushing a stroller? Well… it turns out there is a way to handle all of that, and none of it was as bad as I built it up to be in my mind. Go figure.
  4. Don’t tell other moms about your oversupply problems or how much sleep you’re getting – Nothing good will come of discussing these things with the “wrong” moms, and you never know which mom is the “right” mom. If you end up telling a mom with under-supply issues about how hard it is to have an oversupply, she will a) get mad, and b) tell you that it is not a problem, which will in turn make you mad at her. You two will never understand each other. And if your baby is a sleeper, be happy about it privately. Because moms of less sleepy babies will hate you. The end.
  5. Keep the stain remover next to changing pad – If you want to save your baby’s clothes after a blowout, you have to spray immediately. Baby poop stains clothing like nothing else I’ve ever seen. Spray it, rinse it, and spray it again. Then wash it before it dries. BUT, there is such a thing as “Oh well poop”. These poops are the poops that are so destructive that you just say, “oh well, that’s ruined”… and walk away.
  6. You can shower even when the baby is awake – I literally asked my mother’s permission to take a shower while baby was awake and I was home alone. She said it was okay, so I plopped him in his rocker outside the bathroom door so I could hear him, and I showered. And you know what? He didn’t mind at all.
  7. Doctors are almost never as concerned about your baby’s poop as you are, but call anyway – I called my doctor about baby’s poop probably 800 times in the first few weeks. They were never concerned, but I always felt better afterwards. If you’re wondering what the different poops mean… you can probably assume your baby is fine. There are very, very few instances when your baby’s poop is a sign of a more significant problem. But your anxiety is a significant problem. So ask. Your pediatrician is used to it, and they’ll be happy to put your mind at ease. And after the first few weeks, you’ll have seen it all and won’t need to call anymore.
  8. Cover the penis when changing your baby boy’s diaper – Seriously. This is always a good tip, but it is extra important if you are out in public and do not have a change of clothes for yourself. Be especially wary in the first few weeks, when baby boys are a little extra free with their pee fountains.
  9. Penis points down in the diaper – If you don’t follow this rule, everything near baby will end up wet, including you.
  10. Pack light – My packing list is short for outings: baby (don’t forget him!!!), diapers, wipes, portable changing pad, changes of clothes, baby hat, baby sunglasses, burp rags, blanket, pacifier, wallet, car keys. It all fits in one diaper bag. So I end up carrying around a diaper bag (no purse) and a car seat. Easy peasy. Having less to haul around makes going out with baby much less stressful

Real sick kitty

Monty had to go back to the vet yesterday after vomiting again and still not eating or drinking. 

The diagnosis?

Pancreatitis and irritable bowel disease

The vet wanted her to come in every day for a while to get IV fluids, but until we know for sure that our pet insurance will pay for it, we can’t take the risk that we won’t be covered/reimbursed. So she’s home now.

She is getting the other half of her treatment – steroids – from Kyle. He’s so amazing with her and gets her to take it orally with a syringe.

We also switched her food to a wet food, which she is actually eating. So she’s getting some sustenance, which feels like a huge step in the right direction.

We should find out in a few days if we have insurance coverage for the IV fluids, but we’re hoping she’ll drink water herself at home instead in the meantime. So far, no such luck. She stared at her water glass for a minute… but didn’t end up going for it. Kyle will be force feeding her some water with a syringe tonight when he gets home from work.

There is still a possibility that she won’t make it. But we’re doing what we can within reason and within the limits of our finances. We’re hopeful that everything will work out.

I’ve been thinking about how long I want to breastfeed. I hear you’re supposed to have a goal in mind, and as a type A personality, I’m on board for that.

I was hesitant to set a goal in the beginning, since I was having such a hard time with breastfeeding. But now that things are working as they should, I feel like I have a better idea of what “realistic” might mean for me.

Actually, realistically, I don’t think there is a limit for me physically or anatomically. My body has got this very well sorted now. I think my limit will be an emotional/mental one.

I definitely love that I am giving Lewis custom-brewed food. It is perfect for him, made by me. And for that reason, I know he has the best possible opportunity to be healthy and to grow at exactly the pace he is supposed to. I’m proud to be the one who can give him the gift of a good start in life.

Plus… breastfeeding is free. I don’t have to buy Lewis’ food!

But the way breastfeeding restricts my life is very tough on me. I can handle it for a while, but I don’t think I’ll be one of those people who breastfeeds their toddler, because I think I’ll lose my mind if I’m a slave to my breasts/pump for that long. Always having to think about my breasts and structure my day around them is not my cup of tea.

With that in mind, I think I’d like to set a goal of 6 months. If I go that long, I’ll feel very proud of myself. But if I hit 6 months and still have gas in the tank, I’ll certainly keep going. I’m not going to set an arbitrary stop-date, because who knows how I’ll feel 4 months from now. But I feel good about setting a goal of 6 months as my minimum.

I had a terrible time giving myself an opportunity to consider stopping breastfeeding when I was struggling so much in the beginning. I think the purpose of setting this goal is really to draw a line in time where I can say, “after this, you can do whatever feels right, guilt free.” And I think I’m going to need that in order to allow myself to stop someday. I’m too hard on myself, and this is how I can manage it.

We traded our vomiting kitty for a vomiting baby. Haha our bottle of carpet cleaner has gotten a lot of action the last few days!

Lewis tried to eat while he was pooping this morning. So he kept popping on and off the breast and it would seem that he ended up with an air bubble behind all the milk he ate. Because when he tried to burp… well… let’s just say the carpet cleaner works really well on fabric covered chairs too. And I ended up in the shower.

We’re thinking that was a one time thing since he doesn’t seem sick at all. Just an unfortunate air bubble.

Gross, though. Very very gross.

Kitty cat seems better-ish. She hasn’t vomited in over 24 hours, but other than a few nibbles of food and a couple sips of water, she still wasn’t showing an interest in eating or drinking.

Kyle force fed her some water this evening with the syringe the vet gave us for her medicine. So at least we know she got a little water down.

Kyle came up with a very logical theory: Monty’s throat hurts after so much vomiting. So even if her belly feels better, she doesn’t want to eat because of the tenderness.

To test this theory, we gave her some canned tuna, since it is 1) delicious and irresistible to a cat, and 2) soft and gentle on her throat.

She went for it. She licked all the water out of the can, and gobbled up a healthy portion of tuna. Hooray! And assuming it stays down, we’ll keep feeding her tuna until the can runs out. By then hopefully she’ll be up to eating dry food.

Our fur baby is on her way back to us. Good job, Monty the Cat!

Kitty cat is home from the vet now, with anti-nausea medicine and antibiotics. They didn’t find a blockage or any kidney failure, so we may have gotten off easy.

She was on fluids all day to help with dehydration. All those fluids seemed to stay down, so the vet was pleased. But she didn’t eat all day at the vet either. We’re hoping the anti-nausea drugs help with that.

If she doesn’t improve, we go back sooner. But assuming all is well with the medication, we will just do a quick follow-up visit next week.

The stupid cat annoys me most of the time, but despite that, I love the little beast. So I’m very relieved that she is home and soon to be on the mend.

Send positive healing vibes her direction!

Longest nap ever

Lewis has been asleep for 4 hours. In the middle of the day. I’m trying not to be alarmed at what this might mean for bedtime tonight.

Maybe he is still sleeping off the shots?

WAKE UP LEWIS.