Pity Party

When I have a problem, I solve it.

Except that I can’t solve my sleep-deprivation/exhaustion problem. Instead, it keeps getting worse.

It is so bad now, that my whole body is out of whack. I don’t know for sure that it is all related, but this list of ailments keeps growing: I can’t eat, I feel nauseous, I can’t focus my gaze, I keep getting bruises, my breathing is strange, I have cramps in my belly, headaches, can’t kick my cold….

The longer the list gets, the more desperately I’m searching for a solution. But I have very few functioning brain cells to use in the search for a solution. So trying just seems to make me feel even more tired.

It seems that Lewis has his top 4 front teeth coming in simultaneously. He is handling it wonderfully, except that he doesn’t sleep. Even if we give him Tylenol. They better come through fast.

I wish the world cared more about the fact that moms are so tired. As anti-feminist as it sounds… I totally want special treatment. This is not a normal situation, so I feel like I shouldn’t be expected to perform normally. But no one gives a shit. No one can help me, and no one cares. I feel very alone in my misery. And being so tired makes that feeling of isolation quite difficult to handle.

Today was awesome. Despite my cold and Lewis not getting good naps, I’d relive this day.

Santa went great. It is so slick to be able to make an appointment to see him. We only had to wait because we were early. And then at precisely 11:03, as scheduled, they snapped the photo and printed our pictures, and we were on our way. Fantastic.

My mom and little brother joined us, which was pretty special. I don’t get enough time with them. Even if I spent every moment with them, it wouldn’t be enough.

And after getting home, I tidied up, the house cleaners came (hallelujah!), Kyle took stuff to goodwill, and some friends came by with dinner.

Such a good day. Clean, mostly unpacked house, and a full belly and heart. 🙂