Lewis has been awake for 3 hours. It is 1:20 am. I have had 1 hr of sleep. Have sung you are my sunshine 9 million times. Have “shushed” Lewis 9 billion times. Have had Kyle try. Have fed Lewis.

And now I have been violently sobbing while trying to rock him to sleep after a failed attempt at letting him lay in his crib and “self soothe”. I am aware of the irony in the fact that I am currently bawling while my child literally laughs at me. He thinks this is very funny.

Also, “self soothing” is very fun for Lewis. He loves it. “Self soothing” consists of jumping in his crib, clicking his tongue, a few raspberries, chatting, and other general merriment. Of course, until he doesn’t enjoy it anymore and screams bloody murder.

Tomorrow morning I quit my job. Because I’m too tired to live anymore. I can’t do it. Being a mom is more than enough, thank you very much.

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