You may be wondering (but probably not) how my soul-searching is going. Remember when I said that I was trying to figure out what my soul wants?

Well, so far all I’ve figured out is that I still love Lewis, I’d like to go shopping and freshen up my wardrobe, and I’d really like to tone up my legs.

My soul is really not leading me in a clear direction. Maybe it is too tired.

But even if I don’t have any answers yet, I have been poking around at some things to put me on a better path. It’s just that nothing I’ve poked has turned out to be the life-changer I’m looking for. And I’m not going to shake things up just for the thrill of shaking. It has to be right. Otherwise…what’s the point? If it isn’t right, then I’ll just start poking around for something new again before you know it.

What could the answer be? A new hobby? A new job? A trip? A week off of work? A new daycare solution I haven’t thought of yet? A simple schedule tweak? A miraculous way to find time and energy to exercise? Taking a class? What do I need?! I don’t know!

So things are staying as they are for now. But that could change in an instant, if my soul starts to speak more clearly.

It isn’t the answer to all of my life’s questions, but I guess In the meantime I’ll listen to the things my soul has told me and I’ll snuggle my kid every moment I can, I’ll try Stitch Fix to (hopefully) find something new to wear, and I’ll do some squats while I brush my teeth. Hey, you gotta start somewhere.

Well, the first night of new sleep strategies is in the books. I’d say we’ve got mixed results. But ultimately, I got an okay night of sleep. So… good job? Here’s how each item went:

• Reduce nursing at night: This went alright because he only woke up once… haha. I did actually get him to go back to sleep when he woke up without nursing him, but when I put him down, he lost his mind. Turns out that was because he was in pain… but I didn’t know that until about an hour later. So I just nursed him to see if that would work (nope).
• Only go in when he is actually awake: Nailed it. The one time he woke up, he woke up immediately screaming bloody murder. So I went in. The other times he stirred, cooed, coughed, or otherwise sounded awake, I let it be. I’m good at this. I see through his “crying wolf” routine!
• Pat and shush instead of picking him up: Did not nail this. He was inconsolable. He couldn’t hear my shushing, and I couldn’t pat him because he was rolling around and flailing. I imagine this strategy will work better when he isn’t screaming and (apparently) in pain. After 1 hr and 15 minutes of being awake and screaming, I tried Tylenol and he was out like a light the rest of the night.
• Put him down drowsy: Half nailed this. He didn’t fall asleep at his bedtime feeding, so I tried this twice and he screamed and flailed, resulting in starting bedtime over two times. I was very frustrated, and it took a very long time. But when he woke up later, I tried this again after the Tylenol. It took a few minutes of patting and shushing and lullaby-ing, but it worked! I guess if he isn’t in pain, this strategy will see more success. Imagine that.
• Pull him out of daycare: Nope. Haven’t done that. But he did nap at daycare yesterday, which was a nice surprise. Still didn’t hardly eat. So… it was good and bad. And this morning he was very sad and chasing after me when I left him. I think we’ll both miss each other today.

When it comes to a wide awake, playing baby like last night, I have no clue what the right strategy is.

But with a baby who is clearly sleepy, but keeps screaming, Tylenol is king. Amen. Hallelujah. Tylenol is my savior.

Sleep strategy status: failure on all accounts.

Kiddo keeps coughing and then screaming. Maybe he really is too sick for any success to happen.

I’m tired.

Oops #1: I was so tired this morning that I forgot to brush my teeth. I realized this at work, and in an effort to “freshen up”, I ate some York peppermint patties I found in my desk drawer. That’s the same thing as brushing your teeth, right?

Oops #2: I was so tired this evening that I forgot to do laundry and now I have no clean nursing tanks. I guess I’ll have to whip out a nursing bra for tomorrow, which means my belly will be exposed every time I pump or feed Lewis. Brrrr!