OH AND P.S. I HIT MY PRE-PREGNANCY WEIGHT THIS MORNING.

I’m half a pound below! BAM!

For the first time this week, I made it to the office. Lewis is in daycare and things are back to normal. This has been a very tough week. Once again, I am sleep-deprived. But we have a ton going on at work today, and I need to be on top of my game.

So I bought a Redbull. And I drank it. AND I AM FIRED UP.

When you don’t really consume a lot of caffeine, a Redbull really does a number on you. I mean… I could probably lift a car over my head right now.

But instead, I have been putting out fires at work. We’re at the tail end of a large project, and one of our vendors did something questionable. I was livid. The issue itself is not their fault, but the way they handled it caused us to call their integrity and ethics into question. I was determined not to handle the situation the same way with our customer.

I rarely yell… but I definitely did today. I am typically a benevolent leader. Not today, sir! Boss-lady Carolyn came out. With my Redbull in my tank, I raised my voice and made my point, and everything is fine now.

Most days I feel like I just don’t care about work anymore. I’m too tired to be passionate, and Lewis is so much more important than anything that happens at work, so all the issues that come up at the office seem small in comparison, and I just don’t get riled up. I just… do my work without much emotion. Well… after this morning, I guess no one can say that I don’t care. Not even me. Redbull awoke the beast.

Phew.

Dammit. Things were looking so much better on the sleep front now that kiddo is feeling better.

Until the standard 2am wakeup took nearly 2 hours. And then after I was in bed for 30 minutes, the screaming started.

Child rarely screams. He normally just wakes up and chills – impossible to get back to sleep, but not screaming. It is so disturbing when he screams like that, because it is so unlike him.

Anyway… I changed his diaper, gave him some Tylenol, gave him some boob (again…), and now he is laying in my arms half awake and hyperventilating.

Meanwhile, my alarm will be going off in 1 hr and 20 minutes so I can go to work. Oh joy. Almost not even worth going back to bed even if I get the child back to sleep.