I’m stuck. Not sure what to do.

We’ve got medical bills coming out our ears. We’re still paying off both the hospital and my doctor for Lewis’ birth, plus we’ve got the pediatrician bills stacking up from all of Lewis’ various illnesses, and the dentist’s bill for Kyle’s implants last year. And with hefty bills from the ENT anticipated to arrive soon… well, there is just no end in sight.

Normally, I just rustle up the money each month for each payment from our HSA account, and quietly go about my business. We’ve got “enough” for our monthly payments, so there’s no need to dwell.

But today I paid the dentist a monthly payment, and got an earful about how long it will take us to pay it off, and how they need us to pay it all off sooner because technically they don’t have monthly payment plans. Well that’s news to me… and the lecture made me feel like crap.

We’re maxed out on medical bills, and they want us to pay more. I get it. Really, I do. Of course they want us to pay. And they couldn’t possibly know how strapped we are. I want to pay them and make them happy, but I’m just not sure how to pay more when we don’t have more.

We do have a small savings account, which we use as back up (more frequently than I’d like to admit). I’m wondering if sitting on that savings account is not really the right thing to do right now. Maybe we need to wipe away a few of our medical bills with it instead? And build the savings account back up later? Or maybe we should pay some bills off with a credit card?

Ugh… just having one of those moments where you feel like you’re doing your very best, and it isn’t enough. I hate feeling that way. You can’t really do better than your best… but people need you to. Nothing like feeling inadequate on a Monday morning to get the week started off right.

Bernie for president, anyone? Seriously… our healthcare system is messed up. I give birth to a baby, I make sure said baby gets all the medical attention he needs, and my husband gets his mouth fixed… all things we should be doing without hesitation, and somehow we end up financially ruined. That’s not right. We need someone in power in this country who will do something about this. Because lord knows I can’t fix it myself. Otherwise, I would have.