I jinxed it. Kiddo didn’t drink hardly a drop of milk at daycare today and refused most food. He basically survived on a banana, some blueberries, and a pouch of pureed spaghetti and meatballs.

Dangit.

I am so proud of my little munchkin. I think he’s been doing a really good job of eating/drinking these past few days. I don’t know if it has made a difference in his weight gain, but I also don’t know what else we could possibly be doing. So I’m going to think positive and assume that we’re going to see a big weight gain at the ENT appointment next week.

And while I’m at it, maybe I should try some positive thinking about other things in my life. I am currently experiencing the “panic and try to change my entire life” extreme of my existential-crisis-continuum, and it is not a super healthy, happy place to be.

Since changing everything is a complete impossibility, I need to find my way back to a calmer spot on the continuum. I feel too antsy and dissatisfied when I’m in this place. It is a place of such desperation that I am distracted by trying to “solve” my way out of it, and that can only lead to bad decisions.

No good can come of this.

So what positive things can I focus on? Meal planning has led to more home-cooked meals, feeling healthier, and joint Kyle+Carolyn involvement in cooking. I have two really great girls working for me at the moment, and they make my job feel easier and less stressful simply because we work so well together. Lewis has been sleeping well and I feel rested. My little brother is coming home next week and that means extra family time. Tomorrow is Friday and I get to be with Lewis all day.

See? There are a lot of positives about the way my life is working right now. Why would I want to change everything? Silly Carolyn.