Donald Trump won the election. I don’t think I can accurately describe how this makes me feel, but I’ll throw a few words out there to give it a shot.

Fear. Disbelief. Shock. Shame. Hopelessness. Sadness.

Fear is probably the biggest one. No one can predict what is going to happen under an Donald Trump presidency, but based upon what we saw in the campaign, I don’t have a sunny outlook.

For personal reasons, I’m terrified. The way he treats women, speaks of women, thinks about women is… well it is a perfect example of the reason women take self defense classes, never go anywhere alone, carry weapons. I’ve been sexually harassed verbally more times than I can count, because that just happens to women. It shouldn’t, but it does. I’ve even been physically assaulted on public transportation by a man, and a whole bus full of people ignored what they saw and wouldn’t come to my aid. Because improper sexual treatment of women is so normal that people don’t even intervene. With the leader of our country displaying these behaviors, how are women supposed to have hope that this treatment will end? The examples of poor behavior towards women that little boys see are already everywhere, and now they’re going to watch their president get away with it. How am I supposed to explain to my son that he can’t act that way, if his president does?

But it isn’t just women that Trump offends and treats poorly. It’s literally everyone else, too. Except, apparently, enough Americans to get him elected. Homosexuals, Muslims, blacks, hispanics, foreigners, leaders of other countries… he’s got the whole world against him, and only about half the American voters with him. That’s about 60 million people who approve of him, and probably about 7 billion people against him. What does that say for our safety? Who will he start a war with? Will the economy survive when the whole world is terrified of what we’ve done? Is my family’s well-being in jeopardy?

My son is my biggest concern. I want him to be a kind man. I want him to be accepting of people who are unlike him and to see the beauty in diversity. I want him to be respectful. I want him to understand the power of words. I want him to be safe. I want him to be open minded. I want him to be…. everything that Donald Trump isn’t.

Kyle and I are just going to have to work harder now that Donald Trump is our president. We’re going to have to work our asses off to make sure that Lewis doesn’t turn out like him. We’ll give him better, louder, bigger examples of what a person should be. We’ll make him see us instead of his president. He’s going to be better than that.