Lately, I’ve shocked myself with my reactions to less-than-perfect situations. I have found myself stressed, easy to anger, irritable, and sometimes even mean. My already loose tongue has gotten sharp.
I’ve lost any grace and poise I thought I had. As Lewis would say, “Where it go?”
I’m not sure. An easy explanation would be the pregnancy hormones. But I don’t want to let myself off the hook that easily.
Another explanation is that I’ve been challenged at work with a situation where being harsh is the only method that brings results. Part of me hates it, but part of me is proud that I can be so unapologetically “masculine” in my approach and get what I (and the business) need. And perhaps the proud part of me is bigger than the other, gentler part, and I am starting to spread this method to other areas of my life hoping for similar results.
But having lost friends recently, supposedly because of the way I handle myself and speak about things (that’s my best guess anyway), I am terrified that my new “no nonsense” way of pushing through unpleasant, stressful, or unwanted situations is going to turn more people in my life away.
So I think I should try to bring some of the grace and poise back. Lose some of the harshness and try to get less worked up. But I also think that there is huge value in being direct. So I will aim for an approach that is both direct and kind. Both honest and calm. A measured, balanced approach.
Wish me luck. If it really is the pregnancy hormones, this may be an uphill battle!