17 weeks

Look at us! Me and baby at 17 weeks. Aren’t we adorable? And can you imagine, there is a little person the size of an iPhone in that belly of mine!
17 weeks holds a special place in my heart, because it was at 17 weeks with Lewis that I felt baby kicks for the first time. This time around, I’ve been feeling them for weeks already. But I’m still in that funny place where some days I feel them a ton, and some days I hardly feel them at all. I’m hoping that 17 weeks this time will bring about some more consistency. I’ve never been the hugest fan of the distraction and strangeness of baby kicks, but I do like the certainty they bring about that everything is OK in there.

Since my 16 week appointment (which feels like ages ago!), I got my supplements in the mail to hopefully help with my headaches. I think I’m on day 5 of taking them, and sure enough! I feel loads better. It took a couple days of taking them to notice the difference, but since they kicked in, I haven’t had a single headache worthy of tylenol, and the headaches I have had were quickly solved with a big glass of water. I think we’re out of the woods!!!

I’m not sure if it has to do with the disappearance of my chronic headaches, or if my resolve to “be better” did the trick… but somehow my attitude has improved quite a bit too. I’m not as much of a grump (AKA total bitch) as I had been, and I am much happier being happy and kind again. This is the me I prefer – direct, honest, no-nonsense, but still cheerful, kind, and optimistic. Welcome back, me!

The other big news this week is that we’ve found a new daycare closer to home for both the kids – guaranteed spots for both when we want them. It’s nothing short of a miracle! After 15 months of searching (off and on since we moved), I finally got a lead on an in-home daycare about 5 minutes away from our house that sounded promising.

I collected references, we visited and met with the director, went a separate time to meet the teacher, talked about it for a week, and finally decided that it is the right thing for our family. All that is left is negotiating the pricing, and then we’ll give notice at our current facility and make the move.

Switching Lewis from his current situation is scary, since he is thriving where he is, and we know it works. Opting to go to something new and unknown is terrifying when your child’s well-being is on the line! I appreciated so much that Kyle was so involved and active with the decision making process, since I felt like this was a decision that was just too big for me to make on my own. Normally, Kyle trusts me to make these kinds of decisions with very little involvement from him, but I didn’t even have to tell him that I needed him this time – he either sensed that I was feeling overwhelmed and nervous, or he felt the same way and wanted to be involved for his own peace of mind. Either way, I was so happy to make the decision as a team. Sharing the burden helps me to feel more confident.

Making decisions about things that can affect our child(ren)’s well-being is intensely emotional, and it always feels like the stakes are very high. In other situations, I don’t hesitate, and I can make calls quickly and without much debate or nervousness. It is an odd sensation for me to lack confidence and waver. From this daycare choice, to choosing whether or not to buy a second rocking chair so both kids can have one in their rooms, to timing out when to move Lewis to a Big Boy Bed… I find myself searching for advice, support, and assistance making decisions in ways that I haven’t needed in the past.

I am proud of myself for being able to adjust my process to work better for this new high-stakes phase we’re (permanently?) in. Add that to the list of many, many things that change when kids enter the picture!

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