Lewis gets his big boy bed today. I showed him the bed frame, and he decided to practice laying in his new bed. I hope he likes the real thing as much as he likes the concept!

The daycare issue has been resolved. Quickly, thankfully.

I did a lot of sleuthing yesterday, including finding another one of the daycare moms on Facebook and chatting with her, and I found out that there was a lot more upsetting information than I knew when I originally posted here yesterday.

Without going into too many details, we simply do not feel that we can trust the daycare owner after so much information was withheld. The fact that I had to do any sleuthing at all to try to find out what was going to happen with my child’s care is just not acceptable for us.

Long story short, we are pulling Lewis from the new daycare and sending him to an even newer daycare. We found spots for Lewis (and baby) at several other places, which was nothing short of a miracle to do in just one day. One of the options we explored was following the current teacher to her new daycare, and that is the one we have chosen. Lewis starts Monday.

It is a real shame, because the daycare owner at the place we’re leaving is a very nice woman who clearly cares about the kids. And she is wonderful with the kids. But in the end, I need to know that my babies are in a stable environment with reliable care, and if there are changes, I need to be kept informed instead of being left to discover things on my own. Despite good intentions on the owners end – and after talking to her, I do truly believe she was doing her very best – the situation was handled so poorly that we just have to make our exit.

I feel confident that we’re making the right choice for our family. Poor Lewis will have to endure another change, but he is so adaptable and easygoing that I am sure he’ll do just fine, especially since the teacher will be the same. Off we go, onto the next adventure!

We found out something interesting yesterday – the teacher at Lewis’ new daycare is leaving.

This makes me a little uncomfortable, since the daycare owner seems to be scatterbrained and the whole operation is kind of unstructured. But the teacher made all that OK, because she was on her game, seemed reliable, and Lewis loved her.

The plot thickened today when I spoke with the teacher at dropoff and she informed me that all three of the other families are leaving the daycare now that she is leaving. They’re not following her to her new job, they’re just not staying if she doesn’t stay.

Umm… ok. WTF, daycare? What does this mean? Lewis will be the only child still enrolled at this daycare. Is it going to close? Why are they leaving? This mass exodus has me deeply concerned.

I will be talking to the owner of the facility tomorrow morning to see what the heck the plan is, but I am spending today calling around to other facilities (including our old one!) to put Lewis and the baby on waiting lists all over the place.

We can’t actually afford any of these alternative options, but if it comes down to it and switching is our only option for a safe, reliable, structured, stable childcare, then we will put the difference on credit and make it work.

This whole shakeup is so upsetting because we put so much careful thought and heartache into making the switch to this new place, and now it seems like it is possible that it was a bad decision that we can’t easily back out of.

I’m remaining as calm as possible until I speak to the daycare owner, because maybe she has a great plan and there is no problem. But just in case, I’m proactively trying to line up backup plans.

Sigh… I just want my babies to be well cared for without going bankrupt or wasting all of our time driving all over town. It doesn’t feel like a tall order, but it sure isn’t as easy as you’d think.

I just ordered my lunch and the lady taking my order guessed I was 7 months pregnant. Hehe!

Nope! Still 4 months to go! Just 5 months along here!

Guess this dress hugs the bump pretty closely. Ha!

Here are Baby Girl and me at 23 weeks. Chugging along!

Baby

We’re solidly in the phase of pregnancy where baby just keeps getting bigger and more ready to be outside, but there aren’t any specific milestones to report. She’s got her parts, she’s just gotta grow and get fat. So no big news this week on baby’s development.

She continues to clobber my bladder, although last night she miraculously let me sleep almost through the night, only making me get up to pee once. Thanks, sweet girl. That was nice of you.

I *think* I finished our baby registry (https://www.babylist.com/knees-baby-2)! Baby Girl is already geared-up for the most part, since we have everything from Lewis still (and because I have been buying clothes!), but there are still quite a few things on there – both needs and wants. Kyle and I will whittle away at the list ourselves slowly over the next few months, and hopefully we’ll be fully geared-up and ready by the time we meet Baby Girl on the outside. It was pretty darn exciting to think about her while putting the list together.

Mama

My appetite has been strong, but specific cravings have been non-existent for the last few weeks. It is quite nice to go back to a semi-normal relationship with food, where I don’t have to follow a compulsion to a specific thing and can just eat whatever is around. Of course, nothing is ever entirely normal when you’re pregnant, so I am eating enormous amounts of the non-specific foods. But I’ll take it!

I had a rather glorious moment this morning after my shower where I looked in the mirror at my pregnant figure and just felt fabulous. My belly is getting so round, which balances out the look of my growing hips and butt, and I felt so perfect and beautiful. In my eyes, I looked like someone who should be photographed for a magazine. It isn’t often that I feel that way, pregnant or not, so I am going to hold onto that moment as long as I can!

Lewis

King Lewie gets the biggest update this week, because he is putting us through the paces! Between screaming daycare drop-offs, occasional unexplained night wakings, difficulty with bedtime, refusal to eat, crib escapes, neverending teething pain, learning to open doors, hating to wear clothes, wanting to do everything himself even when he literally isn’t capable, and saying “no” to everything (just because he can, it seems), we’ve had a rough few weeks with the child.

It seemed to culminate over the weekend, and – I’m not going to lie – I shed a lot of tears. Kyle and I have both been so frustrated and in need of support that neither one of us has much support left to give to the other. We’re just running on empty.

We did find some time to connect and talk about things yesterday evening after the kid FINALLY went to sleep (supervised, of course, since he was escaping again when we left the room). We didn’t solve any problems, but at least we were able to remind each other that we’re in it together and that we’ll figure it out. Kyle told me that all I have to worry about, as far as he’s concerned, is growing a healthy baby girl. A very nice thought, indeed.

This morning with Lewis was a much better morning than usual, with no screaming whatsoever, a semi-reasonably sized breakfast, and an easy daycare handoff. Lewis even took a moment during breakfast to compliment my shirt! (“Cool shirt, mama!”) I’m hoping that this is a good omen for the rest of the week.

Even if Lewis’ attitude stays good, we have some big things to tackle in the upcoming days/weeks with the food and bed situations, which feels daunting.

The food war must wage on, but our new strategy involves not letting Lewis see that we’re at war. Per some (adapted) advice from my mother, we are going to stick to a relatively rigid food schedule, and we’re just going to give him the food and not encourage him to eat, which we hope takes the “power struggle” out of the situation. If he doesn’t want something we offer, we just leave it there and tell him it is there if he changes his mind. That way, he doesn’t feel like he’s “winning” when he doesn’t eat, because “mom and dad don’t care”. Of course, inside we are screaming and desperate, but outside, we’re the picture of calm. And as soon as we feel ourselves losing the calm exterior, we either need to have the other parent step in, or walk away. So far, this method has resulted in the kid basically starving himself to death. But change is never immediate, so we’re trying our darndest to wait this out before deciding that it is a failed operation.

For the bed situation, well…. we’ve ordered everything we need from Amazon to have all the components for a twin bed setup here and ready to go. It is possible (probable?) that we’ll need to upgrade to the twin bed immediately, but if he forgets he can climb out of the crib, we may be able to put it off a little longer. Either way, we’ll prepared.

So Amazon is sending us a twin mattress, waterproof mattress protectors, a fall barrier, a step stool, and a childproof doorknob cover. We have twin sheets, a twin box spring, and the twin bed frame already. So we’re…ready? No… that’s not the right word. I’m definitely not ready for the bed upgrade. But, we’ll have the “stuff”, and I’m pretty sure that’s as “ready” as we’ll get.

This parenthood gig is no joke, people. Someone should re-brand the “terrible twos” as “toddler shitstorm”. Because it is basically just getting clobbered from every direction constantly with shit you have no idea how to deal with. I’m not going to make a list, but if I did, this phase would be in the top five of my “least favorite parenting experiences” list. Please send hugs.

Other News

My dear friend, mother to Lewis’ best friend, and fellow pregnant lady, Shalyce, is pulling me out of a rut. With all of the food drama at our house, coupled with my already reduced interest in cooking after becoming a working mother, the joy has been completely sucked out of mealtime at our house. To the point that I usually don’t know what we’re going to eat until we’re eating it, and most of our meals come out of the freezer, from a restaurant, or are so simple they can be prepared in 5 minutes or less.

This has been on my long list of things that I feel badly about. And in true good-friend-fashion, Shalyce suggested a solution that didn’t make me feel incapable or awful. She suggested that we get together once a month to do crockpot meal prep. It sounds like hanging out, but it is actually solving a problem. And instead of the solution resting solely on my shoulders, she’ll be doing it with me so I don’t have to find the motivation in myself. Genius, I tell you. Genius.

So we met up this weekend for our first “event”. We made two batches each (actually, I made three since I was delivering food to a friend with a new baby) – one for immediate consumption, and one to freeze for when babies come.

I’m telling you again, she’s a genius. Not only does it get me out of my rut now, but it keeps me out of my rut later. She’s an angel!

And the inspiration from this new plan is spilling over into the rest of the week as well. I now have a couple of weeks planned out with 2-3 homecooked meals already scheduled. I put them in my calendar, along with a link to the recipes for easy reference. On Thursdays, I will schedule my grocery orders online to pick up on Saturday mornings, and then I will be ready to execute the week’s menu.

I also stocked up on some semi-healthy freezer meals from Trader Joe’s for the days when there is no cooking and no leftovers.

No matter what, I’m already feeling better about the way I’m nourishing my family (even if Lewis won’t eat!), but I’m hoping that there is a bonus in this new way of feeding the brood – maybe Lewis will get more interested in his meals because they’re new and exciting! And I let him help me stir and pour if he’s interested, because then “he cooked it”. So far, that has not motivated eating, but it might eventually make an impact, and in the meantime, it is fun for both of us and brings a little bit of the joy back in. Maybe Lewis needs an apron…

Today Lewis ate an eggo, a few cups of milk, some yogurt with raspberries, a few kernels of popcorn, half a slice of cheese, a tortilla chip, 2 beans, and a bite of toast.

I’d estimate his caloric intake at about 600-700 calories, if I’m generous. He needs 1000-1100 to gain wait like a normal toddler.

I don’t know where we went wrong, but we obviously went wrong somewhere, because this is going worse than before the doctor told us we needed to work on his weight. 

Whether we pay special attention to his eating or not, he doesn’t eat enough. The only thing that has really changed is that I feel worse about it than I did before.

And I’m pretty sure we are on a path towards messing up Lewis’ relationship with food permanently. So that feels good.

I just returned from visiting a friend who recently had a baby. Dropped off some food, snuggled the little screamer (she was soooo precious!!!), and caught up with mom and dad. It was so lovely and made me even more excited to meet my own little bundle of cuteness.

BUT

I arrived home to some not so great news about how nap time had gone.

Kyle informed me that he left Lewis in his crib, as per usual, and went downstairs. Next thing he knew, Lewis was downstairs too. Pantsless.

That’s right! The kid took off his socks and pants, climbed out of his crib, opened his door (new skill!), and came down the stairs.

Dammit. Not sure how to handle any of that, other than closing the baby gate at the top of the stairs to at least avoid the biggest risk for injury.

But… big boy bed? Childproof doorknob? What to do, what to do…

King Lewie is growing up.

Good news? Yes. Assuredly so.

Does it also mean that parenting has taken a turn? Oh yes. Oh my goodness, yes.

The changes in Lewis are so rapid and so drastic that we feel like we can’t keep up. It is like someone took away the kid we knew and left a stranger in his place. He looks like Lewis, but he isn’t Lewis!

The especially interesting part is that Lewis also doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with himself. He recognizes that he can do more now, but it is like he doesn’t know what to do with it. Sometimes the result is that he pushes himself too far and gets frustrated that he can’t do what he thought he could.

Physically, this means he may end up falling down, or he closes the baby gate and can’t open it like he wants. Or perhaps he knows he wants to build something out of his blocks, but he can’t quite get it to come together. He gets very frustrated and has outbursts, but he won’t accept help because he feels like he should be able to do it himself. This results in a lot of “do you want help?”, “you can do it!”, “do you want to do it together?”, or “try again, buddy” from mama and dada.

Verbally, pushing himself too far means that he thinks he is telling us exactly what he wants to say, but we can’t understand. He gets very frustrated with that because he doesn’t end up getting what he is asking for from us.

This is all very challenging for Kyle and me as parents, because our previously even-tempered, calm little buddy is constantly melting down, throwing tantrums, throwing toys, hitting, forgetting his manners, and generally being a little turd. All of those behaviors, in turn, make us feel very frustrated, since we don’t know what to do with Lewis when he is like that, and we don’t want the behavior to continue (in the short-term or the long-term). We feel like brand new parents getting to know our child. (Thank goodness the new baby isn’t here yet, because getting to know both of them at the same time might kill us!)

We try to remind ourselves that, as the adults, we are the ones who have to make the adjustments. Lewis is developmentally incapable of changing his situation and attitude to adapt to this new life. So we are the ones who have to figure it out for everyone, lead by example, and guide him towards better behavior. Sometimes, this takes the shape of showing extra compassion, like rocking Lewis to sleep at bedtime like a tiny baby because, well, he needs it. Other times the solution is less tender and intimate, and more stern.

And in the really challenging moments, we don’t find the right solution and have outbursts of our own. Parenting is not for the faint of heart, and even with the best intentions and goals, we are only human ourselves at the end of the day. It can be hard even for us grown ups to keep our tempers in check when we are being so challenged.

Yes, we’ve definitely entered a new phase. I’m crossing fingers that we figure out how to navigate Lewis (and ourselves) sooner rather than later, because this has been most exhausting for all of us. Kyle and I both want King Lewie to be a kind, respectful, well-mannered, rule-following, self-confident human at the end of the day. We just hope we don’t screw this all up!

Baby Girl and I are growing, growing, growing. Here we are today, at 22 weeks.

Baby

According to all the weekly emails, baby has *probably* passed the 1 lb mark this week! That feels like a huge milestone – she actually weighs something. She is also as tall as a barbie doll. A one pound barbie doll – how cute!

We made some progress yesterday in the baby’s room, which feels really exciting. It was just moving a few things around, but the clean-out and reorganization is the first step towards having a room ready for our sweet girl. The efforts resulted in quite a bit of stuff to take to Goodwill, and there is something about getting the junk out of our house that really feels satisfying, even independent of baby-prep.

I also took inventory on the baby clothes we have for Baby Girl so far, and found that there were some interesting gaps in our collection – like in one size, we have plenty of onesies, but literally no pants! I made notes about what categories are missing for each size up to 12 months, and eventually, we’ll fill those gaps in.

Sweet girl has continued to be super active, partying hardest at Lewis’ bedtime while I’m resting on the couch. Don’t get me wrong, she parties basically all day too (does she ever rest?)! Late evening is just when she really gets her groove on.

Names. We’re working on names. My beloved Granny was in town for Easter this weekend, and we discussed family names over a very fancy meal. Kyle and I sure do have a lot of thinking to do now, with a few winners added to the list. It is going to be so hard to pick!

Me

I had the unfortunate experience of seeing a “throwback” picture of myself at 18 years old today – in a bikini. You know, back when I was working out 3-6 hours a day playing water polo. Needless to say, I feel pretty huge and gross after seeing that picture. I am currently beating myself up for not appreciating how awesome my body was back then, and cursing myself for being unable to resist the ravenous pregnancy hunger.

Other than that, I’ve been feeling pretty good, physically. My main complaints are dry skin on my face and hands, and not being able to do as much during the day without burning out. Today’s little “extra” is that I am just so tired. I got plenty of sleep last night, but I have been dragging since the moment I opened my eyes. I can barely function. I’m guessing Baby Girl is going on a growth spurt and needs my energy to make it happen. *yawn*

Lewis

The kid has been showing some signs of improvement on the eating-front. Yesterday was Easter, and he wolfed down everything in sight AND kept asking for more. I repeat!!! He was asking for more food!

And not only did he eat like a normal person yesterday, he was also exceptionally well behaved while we were at my mom’s house. He played mostly independently, didn’t try to throw himself off the stairs, stayed near the table (if not in his chair) during dinner, didn’t throw tantrums, and even used his manners here and there. I was just so darn proud of my little dude yesterday!

All- in-all, life was pretty good at our house this last week. Here’s to hoping the week to come is productive, peaceful, and healthy. Go team!

Lewis’ birth is finally paid off! We just made the final payment to the OBGYN after just over 2 years.

That. Feels. AMAZING.

Sometimes it feels like we’ll never get rid of all our medical debt, what with all of Lewis’ pediatrician bills (plus interest… grumble) due to all of his illnesses before he got ear tubes, and Kyle’s dental bills for the oral surgery he needed a few years back. But we got rid of one bill today, and that is nothing to scoff at.

I’m grateful that we have better insurance with baby #2 so we don’t have to pay $10k for the birth this time around. Even if it costs more each month out of pocket, we end up better off in the long run.

You know what would be the best though? If the insurance/healthcare system was fixed so people didn’t have to drown in debt in order to keep their families healthy. Just sayin.

Kyle and I have been feeling challenged by Lewis’ eating for a long time – AKA most of kiddo’s life – and after the doctor’s appointment yesterday, the frustration has risen. Feeding Lewis almost feels urgent, like a job to do instead of something to enjoy. And I’m sure that Lewis can sense the anxiety and desperation Kyle and I feel, which can’t help the situation. I mean, who wants to eat when all the fun is taken out of it?

But the problem can’t be ignored, because he has dropped so far off of the growth curve he set for himself earlier in his life.

Of course, the underlying concern in my mama-brain is that there is potentially something worse going on health-wise that is keeping Lewis from eating, or from absorbing his food properly to gain weight. The doctor didn’t mention anything like that, but it is so easy for me to make that jump. If we can’t solve the problem through simple altered eating habits, then we have to look at much scarier explanations.

My grocery list is currently full of super fatty things that I am hoping Lewis will be interested in. That isn’t great news for my probable continued weight gain, but if that is what has to be on the menu in order to make my child healthy, then I’m on board. I’ll even resort to gimmicks, like cutting his food into shapes, if I have to!

The good news in all of this is that daycare is already taking this seriously. His teacher sent me a picture this morning of Lewis with a cheese stick and a bowl of peanut butter, captioned “Operation Bulk Up Lewis is underway!”. Go team!

The past week has flown by, what with all the partying we did, and with my dad visiting from out of town. But even if it is moving so fast that you don’t notice it, time is ticking, and another week is gone. Here baby and I are at 21 weeks.

Baby

There aren’t really any fascinating tidbits about baby’s growth this week. She’s still not quite a pound, and she’s just grown a little in length since last week. The ultrasound tech said that babies are too cramped in the womb now to measure the actual length their actual, so I don’t know how our specific baby compares to the average. Oh well! Even without that measurement, I’m just thrilled to know she’s ok in there!

We’re tossing around names now that we know she is a girl, but even though we have a few front-runners, we’re nowhere near feeling confident in a decision. Currently taking suggestions for classic, timeless, non-trendy names that contain an L (beginning, middle, or end – doesn’t matter).

Baby clothes have started arriving from my ill-advised online shopping sprees. Shame on me, but also YAY! In addition to the clothes I purchased, my sister-in-law brought by a couple bins of hand-me-downs from our niece, which adds some super cute items to the collection! She also brought by a bassinet which we will keep by our bed in the early days before baby switches to a crib in her own room.

I’m thinking pretty soon we should break down the twin beds that are currently in the nursery, and get rid of some of the other furniture in there that won’t have a home any longer. Then we can start filling the room up with baby’s gear! We can put the bassinet in the crib’s future position temporarily so the nursery can feel somewhat complete until Lewis is moved to a big boy bed (he is eventually getting one of the twin beds we’re briefly putting in storage), which will free up the crib to relocate. The thought of doing the baby’s room thrills me, and I can’t wait to see how it comes together. In my mind, it looks beautiful. Let’s hope I can make reality match the vision!

Me

I’m beginning to suspect the nurse at my last appointment misread the scale, because I weighed myself on my at-home scale, and I’m pretty sure she was off by 5 lbs. When I was at the doctor, I thought I saw an “8, but the nurse wrote down a “3”. Clearly, someone was wrong…that’s for sure. And because of my reflection in the mirror, I’m pretty sure the nurse was the one who was wrong.

Other than that possible 5 additional pounds worrying me, things are still A-OK. I’ve been experiencing some off-and-on belly discomfort that lays me out, especially in the evenings. But for the most part I am just fine. Baby is getting bigger, so the kicks are getting stronger, and my bladder is getting more crowded. That means more night-wakings for me to use the restroom, but at least Lewis is still mostly sleeping through the night so I can go back to sleep afterwards. Or not. Actually, I’ve been having some trouble sleeping, for unexplained reasons. But that’s ok! I can live with that – I’ve been more tired before!

I did have to go to get a pedicure yesterday (oh darn!) because the belly is big enough that cutting my own talons, which had become deadly weapons, is very unappealing. It was a fantastic excuse to spend some time with my mom, and I feel much more on top of my life now that my toes are under control. It’s so silly, but it really does help!

Lewis

Well, as you know, Lewis turned 2!!! The party on Saturday was a smashing success, with lots of friends and family, good food, kids playing, a pinata, cake/cupcakes (made by my mom – so delicious!!!), and fun, thoughtful gifts. Co-hosting with Killian’s mama was such a treat, and two days later, I’m still riding the high of the successful party. It was so special to honor our boys and celebrate the accomplishment of keeping two tiny humans alive for two whole years. Amazing!

Lewis also had his 2-year checkup today. He got one shot, and is healthy and developing appropriately in every single way, except for his weight – he actually lost weight. He is in the 75th percentile for height (5.5 inches in the last year!), the 14th percentile for weight (a 1 lb gain in the last year, but a half pound loss since his last weigh in), and the 2nd percentile for BMI. The doctor is not panicking, but did recommend that we double his Pediasure intake (as if we have any control over how much he’ll drink), and add fats to everything he eats, like butter, cream, oils, etc. She also suggested getting him involved in preparation of the food to see if that helps him feel more interested. Definitely worth a try!!!

Kiddo is Mr. Independent lately, which is both fun and infuriating at the same time. His favorite phrases are “No, I do it!!!!” and “No help, mama!” and he says those both about things he can do himself, and things he can’t. Most of the time, it is adorable and I can build in the time to deal with it – like when he wants to pick his outfit in the morning, or try to put on his own pants. But sometimes we have places to be and letting him try to put on his own shoes, pour his own milk, or climb into his carseat doesn’t really fit into the schedule. He is getting better at a lot of those more complicated tasks, and I’m sure he’ll be doing them like a pro soon enough. But until then, I have stopped offering to help, and instead offer to “do it together”. This seems to satisfy his need to “do it self, mama!”, while still getting things done in an expeditious manner.

Upcoming

I’m pleased to say that the upcoming month or so looks pretty calm and easy. We have Easter festivities and my Granny visiting from out of town, but both Easter and Granny are being hosted by my mother, so that doesn’t feel daunting in the slightest. There are also some upcoming baby showers for friends, but again, I’m not hosting! So I fully plan to enjoy some normalcy and relaxation after the past few weeks of madness.

Too tired to post about the bday party for kiddo, so that will have to wait. But I wanted to make sure to note down that today was the first time that Kyle felt baby kicks this pregnancy! Woohoo!

Last year on the left, this year on the right. So grown up now!

Baby Lewis is 2 years old today. At this time 2 years ago, I believe we were all watching a Flip or Flop marathon on HGTV and enjoying the peace my epidural gave us. I was getting flipped and flopped from side to side like a pancake at regular intervals (for whatever medical reason the nurses gave which I now can’t remember), Kyle and my mom took turns touching my foot to remind me it was there (I couldn’t feel anything!), and we were waiting for progress and for Lewis to grace us with his presence.

It’s hard to understand that 2 years has gone by already. I remember the beginning so vividly that it feels like it couldn’t have possibly been that long since Lewis joined us on the outside! It took me the whole past year to adjust to the fact that he was 1, and now I have to start over getting used to him being 2.

Stop it, time. Just stop.

Every single day of the last two years has been a mixture of challenging and wonderful. Lewis has taught me about extremes – rarely is anything balanced or neutral in the world of parenthood. Being a mom is all about feeling both ends of the spectrum simultaneously at all times. It is confusing and spectacular, and I love it so much that we’ve signed up for another little tornado-child! I just can’t get enough of being Lewis’s mom, so I’m adding another kid to try to “get enough”. Although I suspect it is simply not possible to “get enough” when it comes to being a mom!

Lewis’ arrival changed everything. He made everything harder, he made everything sweeter, he made everyone tired, and he made everything better. I’m so lucky to be his mom. These last two years were an honor, and they’re the start of forever. I can never not be Lewis’ mom now. What a wonderful thing to know.

Tonight, as with most meal times, kiddo did not want food. They say he eats with gusto at daycare, but when mama and dada offer food, it is not interesting to Lewis at all.

After an entire evening without success, and bedtime looming with an empty stomach lingering, we went a little unconventional. 

Lewis got to eat his dinner in the bathtub. And we told him that every bite was from the “monkeynaut” (a monkey astronaut from his favorite tv show) to tempt him.

It worked. He ate a satisfactory dinner. 

Am I proud of my ability to show the kid who is boss and get him to fall in line? Obviously not, since that ability does not seem to exist when it comes to meals. But am I relieved that the kid has some food in his belly? Yup. Sure am!

As you all know by now, the little munchkin revealed herself to be a girl, with about as little doubt as there can be from an ultrasound. The tech kept her prediction within professional bounds – AKA “no guarantees” – but she followed that with, “there is nothing there which leads me to believe otherwise”. So we’re feeling pretty convinced!

The ultrasound had originally been scheduled for 8:30 in the morning, but they called the day before and moved it to 2:45 in the afternoon. Before the appointment, we purchased both blue and pink decorations for the little party we were having afterwards, to prepare for either outcome. I kept the receipt to return whichever color we didn’t need. Ultimately, the time switch was not a big problem, because Kyle and I had both taken the whole day off, but boy oh boy was it hard to wait all day! My anxiety was through the roof, and I even broke down and cried into my lunch for absolutely no reason, other than the fact that the day was really emotionally charged.

I was really, really hoping for a girl, which was part of the anxiety ahead of the appointment. But most of the anxiety came from hoping all the parts and guts were there. I immediately felt better as the ultrasound tech started looking around, because I saw all kinds of baby parts (my biggest relief came when we saw the brain)! I was also nervous about the placement of the placenta, since I’m hoping to have a vaginal birth this time around too, and finding out that the placenta was blocking the cervix would have ruined that plan right away. BUT! All the parts and guts were there, the placenta is at the back of my uterus, and we’re having a girl! So everything just worked out about as perfectly as one could hope.

The appointment with the doctor following the ultrasound was easy-peasy. We met with a different doctor in the practice, and liked him very much. It was nice to meet another provider, since you never know who will be on duty when baby makes her debut. All my vitals were good, and the doctor had nothing interesting to say to me because, well, everything was normal. Hooray!

As I mentioned on Monday, I was expecting a very large weight gain, but it turns out that I only gained about 5 lbs, which is just over a pound a week! Right on track! That doesn’t change the fact that I’m seeing general expansion all over my body in the mirror, and I’m not loving that image. But like I said before, I’m just so stinking happy about this little baby that seeing this puffy version of Carolyn come back isn’t really the end of the world.

Today I woke up feeling very strange. It almost seems like yesterday didn’t happen and I can’t believe my luck. I keep pinching myself to remind myself it isn’t a dream.

Speaking of dreams, I had nightmares last night which disrupted my sleep. I think they stem from some newly awakened emotional turbulence. Like with Lewis, finding out the sex of the baby has changed the game for me. It feels more real, I feel like I know baby in a different way, and it feels like I have so much left to do, with very little time left. Everything just hit me in the heart yesterday, and I feel very unsettled.

Dealing with this strange mixture of joy and panic will probably take a few days. I am sure that planning and preparing, working on finances, and simply living with the news for a while will all help me settle back into my rhythm. But until then, I’m a bit frenzied and scattered.

P.S. I ordered sooooo many baby girl clothes in the throes of my elation after our little gender reveal party yesterday. That was so. damn. fun. I can’t wait until they all arrive!

Baby #2 is a giiiiiiiirl!

I’ll write more in the next few days, but that’s the biggest news from today’s appointment. Along with the reassurance that baby is healthy. Hooray all around!

Whoa! Halfway already!

Baby

According to the emails, the baby is now measured including its legs, whereas before it was only measured head-to-butt because it was so curled up (Ha! my battered bladder begs to differ!). This means that babies at this gestational age suddenly go from 6 inches tall last week to about 10 inches tall this week. I am interested to see how tall our baby actually is tomorrow at our anatomy scan!

Yes, that’s right… TOMORROW IS THE BIG DAY. We check for all the parts and guts tomorrow! I have been looking forward to this day since before we even got pregnant. I can’t wait to find out 1) that baby is healthy and has all its parts and guts, and 2) whether baby is a boy or a girl. (!!!!!!!)

The waiting has gone on so long that it has felt like I would be waiting forever. It is mind boggling that tomorrow we’ll know, and the wait will be over.

Me

I’m feeling pretty great. Physical discomforts are minor and manageable (dry skin, digestion, round ligament pain, general aches when I overdo it, end-of-day fatigue, etc), but the overwhelming feeling this week is that I am loving my (gigantic!!!) belly.

I anticipate a massive weight gain on the scale at the doctor’s office tomorrow, because I feel like I am looking quite fat in places other than my baby-belly. This is no surprise, because I have been over-eating. It is not a mystery how one gains weight, and I knew from last pregnancy that my will power is pretty pathetic.

I am trying my darndest not to feel upset by my general body-expansion, and most of the time I succeed. I’m just so happy and I love the baby-belly so much that the overall puffiness is easier to see as a benign side-effect. I know from experience that I can lose the weight once baby is here, so I think it is best for me and baby if I defer the stress for “future Carolyn” to deal with. Although I promise I will bravely continue my efforts to build stronger will power in order to keep the problem to a relative minimum.

Lewis

Kiddo #1 started his new daycare today! I, of course, was unable to sleep well last night because of the nerves ahead of the big day, but Lewis was totally fine. I dropped him off, and he walked in like he owned the place. He was the first kid there, so he grabbed some toys and got down to business. He didn’t even care that I left, because he was already having so much fun.

I got texts throughout the day from the teacher, including some adorable photos. I was informed that Lewis had found every single toy car they have in the house within about 30 minutes of me leaving, and it sounded like he remained in good spirits the whole day. The report at the end of the day was that he ate everything, he napped well, and there were no tears. Woohoo!

Family

Kyle’s party yesterday was only the beginning of what is sure to be a crazy, celebration filled week. Tomorrow Kyle and I both take the day off to go to the anatomy scan and celebrate the news, and later in the day we will have some family over to celebrate the reveal of #2’s gender. Then on Thursday my dad arrives for Lewis’ 2nd birthday shenanigans. Of course, that means Lewis’ birthday is Friday, and Lewis’ big joint birthday party with his buddy Killian is Saturday. Lots and lots of fun to be had, and lots and lots of exhaustion ahead for this pregnant mama. Worth it? Totally. 100%

Today it was my sweet husband’s turn to enter his 30s. He didn’t ask for much (wise man – after that car purchase, he knew where to set his expectations). So I tried to give him everything he wanted.

Family beach trip yesterday? Check!

Lewis snuggles? Check! 

Blueberry muffins for breakfast? Check!

Grandma’s chicken? Check! (Provided by Kyle’s dad)

Garlic mashed potatoes? Check!

Angel food cake? Check! (Provided by my mom)

Family and friends at dinner? Check!

Car wash kit? Check! (I played elf to make sure he got it)

He also got some pretty spectacular gifts in addition to the things I influenced. He was super excited about all of that, but I think most of all he was happy that people showed up for him and gave them the gift of their time. 

After a crazy weekend, with today being the crazier of the two days, my entire pregnant body hurts. But it was all worth it because Kyle seemed to feel properly celebrated and very satisfied with his 30th birthday. He is so deserving, and I hope he felt as loved as he is by me, Lewis, and all of the family and friends who came today.