40 weeks

Never thought I would be writing a “40 weeks” post! I had absolutely no suspicion that I would make it this far – not to mention no desire to make it this far!

I went for my weekly checkup today only to find that literally nothing has changed since last week. Still close to 2cm dilated, and cervix way up behind baby’s head. All the contractions I’ve been having have been nothing more than useless, painful annoyances.

The doctor reminded me that a lack of progress prior to the onset of labor means nothing, and I could still “go” at any minute. I do know she’s right, especially after being 1cm with Lewis for many weeks with no change before my water spontaneously broke and he made his appearance. But even armed with that knowledge and experience, I am having a harder time than I would like dealing with my disappointment that nothing seems to be happening.

Side note – I packed an additional outfit for Baby Sister in the hospital bag. This one is a 0-3 month size just in case she is gigantic after all this “baking” and doesn’t fit in a newborn outfit. 

I am now scheduled for a non-stress test on Thursday to monitor the baby midway between today’s appointment and my induction on Sunday. My heart’s deepest desire is that I won’t need either appointment, but I am happy to have the NST to look forward to. It’s a pretty boring experience usually, but I long so deeply to feel connected to and meet this baby that I will welcome any kind of extra interaction with her that I can get.

In the meantime, I’m trying to keep a positive attitude, a sense of humor, and my sanity (with measured success). Kyle and Lewis help with all of those things. They’re both so loving and supportive and excited that they have a way of naturally pulling me out of my funk.

I told Lewis earlier that I was a little sad that Baby Sister hasn’t come out yet, and he said, “how do we get her out?” To which I replied, “what do you think? How should we get her out?” His answer was, “Thursday!”

So there you have it, folks! Sounds like I’m in for a few more days of pregnancy.

But it is also possible that it is my destiny to be pregnant forever.