Day 6

Sweet Ellen is 6 days old today, and she had a big day. She had her tongue and lip tie confirmed by an ENT and it was immediately revised with a laser procedure. 

I am so grateful I followed my instincts and had her looked at asap, because I can already feel a difference in Ellen’s latch and my pain levels with breastfeeding.

“Fun” fact – The information the doctor handed us at the appointment said that less than 5% of babies have tongue/lip tie issues. Well, 100% of my babies had them! And 100% of my babies were sunnyside up at birth, which is also an uncommon occurrence. Beating the odds right and left. Where is my lottery ticket?!?!

Anyway, getting that done was a big deal. Now we have 3 weeks of stretching the revised sites to prevent reattaching, a trip to the lactation consultant to make sure Ellen is using her new anatomy correctly, and a follow up with the ENT to make sure nothing has started reattaching despite our stretching efforts. All the extra “stuff” is worth it to make sure we can breastfeed. I’m so, so happy.

I also officially kissed the last of the newborn-sized clothes and diapers goodbye today. I’m so glad I hadn’t stocked up on a ton of either. I must have known on some level that she’d be massive! It’s a little sad, though, because some of those clothes were really precious and none of my babies will ever wear them. 

The only other Ellen news today is her stinky belly button. I’m keeping a watchful eye on it, because it smells awful, and is oozing green pus. The doctor says this is fine and normal, but it is so gross that Kyle nearly puked earlier from the stench. She told us what we should actually watch for and be concerned about, and you can bet we will be on it if those things happen!

How about an update about mama? Well, after a very successful night of sleep (considering we have a newborn), I was ready for the day. I got laundry folded, showered, ate well (go me! That’ll show you, postpartum appetite loss!), and didn’t even need a nap.

Physically, I’m definitely on the upswing. My belly is going down, my stretch marks are less red and angry, my bleeding is slowing, my breasts are less engorged, and my nether regions are less swollen and the stitches are bothering me less. I think I may even be able to stop ibuprofen in the coming days. It’s all positive news there.

Emotionally, today is my best day yet. I’m definitely still on the hormonal roller coaster, but with more sleep I find I am more in control of myself. 

One of the hardest adjustments so far is how much I miss Lewis. He’s at school all day and then only home + awake for 2-3 hours in the evening. That’s no different than normal, and it hadn’t been bothering me at all, but now my attention is split and I find that I desperately miss focusing on him 100% when time with him is so limited. He’s so sweet and funny and special and I am so preoccupied and pinned down by the baby that I miss out on enjoying those lovely moments with him. 

Kyle has been soaking up the extra bonding time with Lewis and I definitely feel jealous. I hope that it won’t take me long to figure out how to be there for both of my kids simultaneously and feel satisfied by the experience bonding with both of them. I imagine that is very rewarding, whereas the current state of things is making me feel guilty and sad.

Luckily, I think I’m on better footing for bonding with Ellen now that breastfeeding is sorting itself out. Without the agony, I think my attachment to her will explode and be wonderful. That’s half of the children-duo covered. A good start, indeed.

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