Yesterday at the hospital for a routine Dr appointment:

*old lady approaches me and the kids*

Old lady: “how old is your baby?”

Me: “one month old”

Old lady: “oh my! So big! *pats my shoulder* You poor thing! I’m so sorry!”

Me: “haha… uh… thanks! We survived!” *awkwardly walks away*

Today on the couch with Lewis:

*kiddo puts his toy screwdriver in his shirt*

Lewis: “I’m pumping”

Me: “you’re pooping? Do you want to sit in the potty?”

Lewis: “no! I’m pumping! For food to eat! *takes screwdriver out of his shirt* All done! *sluuuuuurp*”