I am completely at a loss. I haven’t slept in weeks.
I am to the point of fatigue where I am angry at my baby. I can’t function. I have serious debates in my head about how I can quit my job and still send the kids to daycare so I can just sleep during the day, because that feels like the only way I will ever sleep again.
I am also contemplating buying every single sleep aid on the market. Sleep sacks, special beds, professional infant sleep coach to come live with us for a week and teach us how to do this… Take all my money, even a tiny improvement would be worth going into thousands of dollars of debt for.
I am obviously shitty at this. I have happy, healthy kids, yes. I’m a great mom during the day – I am consistent with discipline, we have fun, my babies know I love them, they eat balanced diets, they’re safe.
But at night? I’m crap. I clearly don’t know what I’m doing. I follow my instincts and this is what I get. Following my instincts, I end up inadvertently teaching my kids not to sleep. If it was just one of them, I would chock it up to bad luck. But I’m batting 1000 on shitty sleepers, and the common denominator is ME.