We had another terrible night last night. But both yesterday and today (so far) have been wonderful. It’s funny how much the daylight changes your perspective.

Well, that and caffeine…

Plus, I am reading a book right now (kindle on my phone – pro tip for getting through sleepless nights!) where one of the characters inadvertently killed her newborn baby, and the telling of that scene brutalized my mama-soul. I read it on about hour 5 of being up with Ellen last night, and suddenly I wasn’t angry to be awake. In fact, I couldn’t squeeze her warm body close enough.

And I couldn’t wait for Lewis to wake up in the morning so I could squeeze his warm body too. I was immediately in desperate need of feeling the rise and fall of their chests.

I hate the book I’m reading, between the alcoholism, the lying, the incredibly poor decisions and the stress caused by the characters engaging in all three, I’ve hated it from the start.

It’s for a book club a friend of mine is just starting up, so I have been powering through. I wanted to stop reading it long before that awful scene. Now I am truly traumatized by it, and I dread picking it up to read another page.

But I am grateful that it got me through another bad night. Grateful it made me appreciate what I have. Because during the bad nights, I struggle to maintain that perspective. So thank you, terrible book.

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